1 From: Don Chiasson <G.CHIASSON@DREA-XX.ARPA>
2 Subject: Some gnu jokes
3 To: jokes@DREA-XX.ARPA, gergely@DREA-XX.ARPA, broome@DREA-XX.ARPA
4 cc: G.CHIASSON@DREA-XX.ARPA
5 Message-ID: <12329394624.13.G.CHIASSON@DREA-XX.ARPA>
7 Richard M. Stallman (RMS, widely known for creating EMACS) is writing
8 a UNIX clone called GNU (which means Gnu's Not Unix--a recursive acronym).
9 This seems to open the way to a whole gnu class of jokes. For example:
11 Q: What do you call a person who hacks while wearing no clothes?
14 Q: What do you call an eligible young hacker?
17 Q: What is a hacker's favorite candy?
18 A: Gnugat. (Though it contains little gnutrition.)
20 Q: What do you call a computer filled with air?
23 Q: What do you call a novice hacker who keeps pestering you
24 with foolish questions?
27 Q: What do you call a subtle, clever hack in the favorite language?
30 Q: What do you use a supercomputer for?
31 A: Gnumerical analysis.
33 Q: What do you call a hacker who collects coins?
36 Well, there are more, just too gnumerous to tell all at once. I think
37 I'd better go before someone starts firing gnuclear weapons at me.
40 From: patl@athena.mit.edu (Patrick J. LoPresti)
41 Message-ID: <1991Jul11.031731.9260@athena.mit.edu>
42 Sender: news@athena.mit.edu (News system)
43 Subject: The True Path (long)
44 Date: 11 Jul 91 03:17:31 GMT
45 Path: ai-lab!mintaka!olivea!samsung!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!think.com!snorkelwacker.mit.edu!bloom-picayune.mit.edu!athena.mit.edu!patl
46 Newsgroups: alt.religion.emacs,alt.slack
47 Organization: Massachusetts Institute of Technology
49 Xref: ai-lab alt.religion.emacs:244 alt.slack:1935
51 When I log into my Xenix system with my 110 baud teletype, both vi
52 *and* Emacs are just too damn slow. They print useless messages like,
53 'C-h for help' and '"foo" File is read only'. So I use the editor
54 that doesn't waste my VALUABLE time.
58 ED(1) UNIX Programmer's Manual ED(1)
64 ed [ - ] [ -x ] [ name ]
66 Ed is the standard text editor.
69 Computer Scientists love ed, not just because it comes first
70 alphabetically, but because it's the standard. Everyone else loves ed
73 "Ed is the standard text editor."
75 And ed doesn't waste space on my Timex Sinclair. Just look:
77 -rwxr-xr-x 1 root 24 Oct 29 1929 /bin/ed
78 -rwxr-xr-t 4 root 1310720 Jan 1 1970 /usr/ucb/vi
79 -rwxr-xr-x 1 root 5.89824e37 Oct 22 1990 /usr/bin/emacs
81 Of course, on the system *I* administrate, vi is symlinked to ed.
82 Emacs has been replaced by a shell script which 1) Generates a syslog
83 message at level LOG_EMERG; 2) reduces the user's disk quota by 100K;
86 "Ed is the standard text editor."
88 Let's look at a typical novice's session with the mighty ed:
115 Note the consistent user interface and error reportage. Ed is
116 generous enough to flag errors, yet prudent enough not to overwhelm
117 the novice with verbosity.
119 "Ed is the standard text editor."
121 Ed, the greatest WYGIWYG editor of all.
123 ED IS THE TRUE PATH TO NIRVANA! ED HAS BEEN THE CHOICE OF EDUCATED
124 AND IGNORANT ALIKE FOR CENTURIES! ED WILL NOT CORRUPT YOUR PRECIOUS
125 BODILY FLUIDS!! ED IS THE STANDARD TEXT EDITOR! ED MAKES THE SUN
126 SHINE AND THE BIRDS SING AND THE GRASS GREEN!!
128 When I use an editor, I don't want eight extra KILOBYTES of worthless
129 help screens and cursor positioning code! I just want an EDitor!!
130 Not a "viitor". Not a "emacsitor". Those aren't even WORDS!!!! ED!
131 ED! ED IS THE STANDARD!!!
135 When IBM, in its ever-present omnipotence, needed to base their
136 "edlin" on a UNIX standard, did they mimic vi? No. Emacs? Surely
137 you jest. They chose the most karmic editor of all. The standard.
139 Ed is for those who can *remember* what they are working on. If you
140 are an idiot, you should use Emacs. If you are an Emacs, you should
141 not be vi. If you use ED, you are on THE PATH TO REDEMPTION. THE
142 SO-CALLED "VISUAL" EDITORS HAVE BEEN PLACED HERE BY ED TO TEMPT THE
143 FAITHLESS. DO NOT GIVE IN!!! THE MIGHTY ED HAS SPOKEN!!!
147 From: The Unknown User <anonymous@nowhere.uucp>
148 Subject: EMACS -- What does it mean?
149 To: mit-prep!info-gnu-emacs@TOPAZ.RUTGERS.EDU
151 EMACS belongs in <sys/errno.h>: Editor too big!
154 Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-Shift
157 From: harvard!topaz!BLUE!BRAIL@mit-eddie
158 Date: 9 Sep 85 17:25:27 EDT
159 Subject: EMACS -- What does it mean?
160 To: mit-prep!info-gnu-emacs@TOPAZ.RUTGERS.EDU
162 EMACS may stand for "Editing MACroS," but some friends of mine
163 suggested some more creative definitions. Here they are. Anyone have
411 Eenie-Meenie-Miney-Mo-
455 From: ihnss!warren@mit-eddie (Warren Montgomery)
456 Newsgroups: net.emacs
457 Subject: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean?
458 Date: Tue, 10-Sep-85 09:14:24 EDT
459 Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL
460 Apparently-To: emacs-netnews-distribution@mit-prep
462 Someone at a luncheon suggested it meant:
470 (In reference to the odd hours that went into the creation of my
479 Date: Wed, 18 Sep 85 10:11:04 edt
480 From: inmet!tower@inmet.inmet (Leonard H. Tower Jr.) <inmet!tower@cca-unix>
481 Subject: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean?
482 To: tower@MIT-PREP.ARPA
484 Received: by inmet.uucp (4.12/inmet) id AA02199; Wed, 18 Sep 85 09:10:17 edt
485 Date: Wed, 18 Sep 85 09:10:17 edt
486 Message-Id: <8509181310.AA02199@inmet.uucp>
487 Uucp-Paths: {bellcore,ima,ihnp4}!inmet!tower
488 Arpa-Path: ima!inmet!tower@CCA-UNIX.ARPA
489 Organization: Intermetrics, Inc., Cambridge, MA, USA
490 Home: 36 Porter Street, Somerville, MA 02143, USA +1 (617) 623-7739
491 /* Written 6:48 pm Sep 14, 1985 by gml@ssc-vax in inmet:net.emacs */
492 /* ---------- "Re: EMACS -- What does it mean?" ---------- */
493 Pleeeeeeeze!!! Nice try on the meaning of EMACS. I believe the
502 Thank you, and Good Night
503 /* End of text from inmet:net.emacs */
505 From: ho95e!wcs@mit-eddie (Bill.Stewart.4K435.x0705)
506 Newsgroups: net.emacs
507 Subject: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean?
508 Date: Thu, 26-Sep-85 21:43:54 EDT
509 Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ
510 Apparently-To: emacs-netnews-distribution@mit-prep
512 > > very interesting, but what does GNU stand for ?
513 > GNU = Gnu's Not UNIX. There is also MINCE, for Mince Is Not a Complete Emacs.
514 > More recursive acronyms, anyone?
515 Many people have also seen FINE Is Not Emacs, but the one that has
516 character is THief Isn't Even Fine.
518 ## Bill Stewart, AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ 1-201-949-0705 ihnp4!ho95c!wcs
520 Path: mit-eddie!think!harvard!bbnccv!bbncca!linus!decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!edison!ta2
521 From: edison!ta2@mit-eddie (tom allebrandi)
522 Newsgroups: net.emacs
523 Subject: Re: Re: EMACS -- What does it mean?
524 Date: Sun, 29-Sep-85 18:11:55 EDT
525 Organization: General Electric's Mountain Resort
526 Apparently-To: emacs-netnews-distribution@mit-prep
528 > GNU = Gnu's Not UNIX. There is also MINCE, for Mince Is Not a Complete Emacs.
530 > More recursive acronyms, anyone?
533 For the DEC-system-10/20: FINE - Fine Is Not Emacs.....
537 tom allebrandi 2, general electric aco, charlottesville, va
538 {decvax,duke}!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!edison!ta2
539 box 8106, charlottesville, va, 22906
543 Date: Wed, 16 Oct 85 01:38:12 edt
544 From: inmet!tower (Leonard H. Tower Jr.) <inmet!tower@cca-unix>
546 To: tower@MIT-PREP.ARPA
548 Received: by inmet.uucp (4.12/inmet) id AA12997; Tue, 15 Oct 85 22:31:39 edt
549 Date: Tue, 15 Oct 85 22:31:39 edt
550 Message-Id: <8510160231.AA12997@inmet.uucp>
551 Uucp-Paths: {bellcore,ima,ihnp4}!inmet!tower
552 Arpa-Path: ima!inmet!tower@CCA-UNIX.ARPA
553 Organization: Intermetrics, Inc., Cambridge, MA, USA
554 Home: 36 Porter Street, Somerville, MA 02143, USA +1 (617) 623-7739
555 /* Written 12:20 pm Oct 14, 1985 by rs@mirror.UUCP in inmet:net.emacs */
558 SINE: Sine Is Not Emacs
559 (MIT Architecture Machine Group)
561 EINE: Eine is Not Emacs
564 ZWEI: Zwei Was Eine Initially
568 Rich $alz {mit-eddie, ihnp4!inmet, wjh12, cca, datacube} !mirror!rs
569 Mirror Systems 2067 Massachusetts Ave.
570 617-661-0777 Cambridge, MA, 02140
571 /* End of text from inmet:net.emacs */
573 Path: mit-eddie!genrad!panda!talcott!harvard!seismo!gatech!ulysses!pajb
574 From: ulysses!pajb@mit-eddie (Paul Bennett)
575 Newsgroups: net.emacs
576 Subject: Here we go again ...
577 Date: Sat, 19-Oct-85 17:26:49 EDT
578 Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Murray Hill
579 Apparently-To: emacs-netnews-distribution@mit-prep
582 > EINE: Eine is Not Emacs
585 > ZWEI: Zwei Was Eine Initially
588 DREI: DREI - Really Emacs Inside
589 (Exists only in my head)
591 From: friedman@gnu.ai.mit.edu (Noah Friedman)
592 Sender: friedman@gnu.ai.mit.edu
593 To: jimb@gnu.ai.mit.edu, rms@gnu.ai.mit.edu
594 Subject: etc/emacs.names
595 Date: Fri, 9 Oct 92 00:54:57 edt
597 The following should be added:
606 From: S_TITZ@iravcl.ira.uka.de (Olaf Titz)
607 Newsgroups: alt.religion.emacs
608 Subject: Re: what emacs stands for
609 Date: 12 Oct 92 19:29:32 GMT
611 Emacs Masquerades As Comfortable Shell
612 Ever Made A Control-key Setup?
613 Emacs: My Alternative Computer Story
614 Emacs Made Almost Completely Screwed
615 (by extensive use of M-x global-unset-key)
616 Emacs Macht Alle Computer Schoen
617 (deutsch) (=Emacs makes all computers beautiful)
618 Each Mail A Continued Surprise
619 Every Mode Acknowledges Customized Strokes
620 (keystrokes, of course :-)
621 Eating Memory And Cycle-Sucking
622 Everyday Material Almost Compiled Successfully
624 now enough bashing for today :-)
627 From: elvis@gnu.ai.mit.edu
628 To: emacs-19-bugs@gnu.ai.mit.edu
629 Subject: missing from etc/emacs.names
630 Date: Thu, 20 May 93 02:21:27 edt
639 Just so you boys know the score.